The new rules to living in lockdown

Follow the science, they say… So here are 12 new ‘observations’ about life in a post-pandemic world

Apologies in advance: this column will be distressing to scientists (including those in my own family, but thankfully none of them read what I write).

The rules of the physical world seem to be abandoning us. The virus acts like no other pathogen. Two metres is entirely subjective now, expanding and contracting to meet our needs. Time is non-Newtonian, like the cornflour you’ve probably resorted to if you have small children to entertain, stiff and fluid at once. Numbers are basically meaningless: in pandemic maths, a figure such as 413 deaths – the one released on the day I am writing, an unthinkable catastrophe at another time – is encouraging, a cause for some optimism.

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